God's Patience and Faithfulness

Good Morning! If you are getting this, then you know it's Starving Second Saturday where we set aside some time and fast and pray for our friends and family who so desperately need Jesus.

I am reminded this morning of just how desperately they need Christ as I think of the great sermon delivered by Jonathan Edwards in 1741 called "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God." It is a very powerful message at just how precarious the lives of men are who are not covered by the blood of Jesus.

Most of the sermon's text consists of ten considerations:

1. God may cast wicked men into hell at any given moment.
2. The Wicked deserve to be cast into hell. Divine justice does not prevent God from destroying the Wicked at any moment.
3. The Wicked, at this moment, suffer under God's condemnation to Hell.
4. The Wicked, on earth - at this very moment - suffer the torments of Hell. The Wicked must not think, simply because they are not physically in Hell, that God (in Whose hand the Wicked now reside) is not - at this very moment - as angry with them as He is with those miserable creatures He is now tormenting in hell, and who - at this very moment - do feel and bear the fierceness of His wrath.
5. At any moment God shall permit him, Satan stands ready to fall upon the Wicked and seize them as his own.
6. If it were not for God's restraints, there are, in the souls of wicked men, hellish principles reigning which, presently, would kindle and flame out into hellfire.
7. Simply because there are not visible means of death before them, at any given moment, the Wicked should not, therefore, feel secure.
8. Simply because it is natural to care for oneself or to think that others may care for them, men should not think themselves safe from God's wrath.
9. All that wicked men may do to save themselves from Hell's pains shall afford them nothing if they continue to reject Christ.
10. God has never promised to save us from Hell, except for those contained in Christ through the covenant of Grace.

I was certainly moved by the sermon after reading it at its full length. God's grace alone had kept me from that eternal destruction, and it is his grace that keeps our lost and rebellious ones out today.

For the last couple of months, as I wrote about the passage from Jeremiah 29:12-13 has been on my mind. I think the Lord is saying simply just keep seeking me, give it all you have and I will be faithful to respond. He is there when I'm seeking him, when I am in prayer and in worship. It's amazing! We have an amazing God.

This week the Lord brought back to my mind the passage of 1 Peter 5:10 that says "And the God of all grace who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." Piece by piece and day by day He is showing himself to be faithful to this promise that I had taped to my dashboard for nearly a year.

Today if He asks me "See I am doing a new thing, can you not perceive it?" I can answer with a definitive "Yes, Lord I see it!"

Hey it's Starving Second Saturday!

Just a quick reminder this morning. I am anticipating some great things this weekend! My sons and I have been invited to spend tomorrow morning visiting with some of the families affected by the Missouri River flooding. For most it will be a service of thanks giving as the water did not rise to it's expected depth.
It should be a great service at Grace Church of the Nazarene near downtown KCMO. I pray that some of the visitors will be encouraged by the stories of God's faithfullness.

I will be found by you

I have been praying with a friend who, like me, over the last couple of weeks had been observing a recurring verse of scripture.  One night, I had managed to make it to our Wednesday service and heard a story about a little boy who was learning about his new bible and was challenged to look up the scripture.  Then about twenty minutes after the service, I had a telephone call.  It was my friend who is going through a very dark time and he started quoting the same scripture though he wasn’t at the service.   Then it was in my devotions again on the 5^th.  So I have been thinking about it and reading it over and over. 

I am not sure if it was necessarily meant for me, or my friend whom I’ve been praying with.   My mind has been routinely drawn to the whole passage particularly the following verses where God says “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” 

The verse preceding that, the one I have encountered several times in the last several weeks is one of the most quoted scriptures, especially when we talk with someone feeling hopeless.  If you haven’t already guessed, it is from Jeremiah 29:11.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I will admit I have seen that scripture many times during the last couple of years.  I have also accusingly asked God “so this is your plan to prosper me?”  I wonder if he maybe would have sighed and rolled his eyes for a second each time I asked him.  Sometimes I would think the Lord was teasing me with that scripture and instead of feeling faithfully lifted up, it made me feel even worse.  Talk about a disincentive to read the scripture and pray; feeling poorer for reading the very words meant to lift you up. I guess that’s where a step in faith comes in, when it seems like there are no steps to be taken at all, but you keep praying and keep reading anyway.   

Lately, my heart is greatly lifted up as I see his faithfulness to me.  I am more and more intrigued by the verses that follow where he says “you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”  What an amazing promise!  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you . . .” 

How astounding to me that our God, our perfect, Holy, and almighty God would choose to love me and speak to me and answer my prayer—but he also gave me a road map to find him!  Lord my prayer is that you will take away from me the things that might get in the way of me seeking you with all of my heart. 

So Saturday the 10^th is Starving Second Saturday.  I want to seek the Lord with all of my heart and find him on Saturday!  I want to tell him about the burden I have on my heart for my broken home.  I hope you will be able to meet him in prayer too.

Half-time

Well first of all, I wish to say praise God!  I am as of 8/1 officially out of the ranks of the homeless!  God has shown me mercy, and I am grateful.  I am also grateful to each of you who have been kneeling with me in prayer and in fasting.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to express what your prayers have meant to me and my family.  Secondly, as many of you hopefully noticed (a few of you called me about it), I did not post last month.  I apologize.

I did not forget, but had some strangely overwhelmingly busy weeks prior and during that week.  I was helping the company to play catch up to our seasonal volume and for a period of several weeks I had been working nearly 18 hour days and during the second week of the month I was particularly busy.  I had originally been planning my return here for the beginning of July, and a few days before my planned switch, I was asked to remain where I was for an additional month.

At first, I was a little disheartened to be honest; after all it had already been 12 months.  But I would soon discover later that I was intent on making plans that the Lord was saying no to at least for now.  He placed a big 30 day long stop sign in front of me, and it took me 20 days to realize what it was.  But it gave me some time to affirm my trust that He has the right plan for me.

As I was thinking of what to post last month, a thought came to me that I have been holding on to.  I am still trying to make sense of “why did this happen?” and a football analogy came to mind from my recent post.  I had called it “Homecoming” in anticipation of my return to a more normative life.  As I have been able to reflect on it, I realized it might be something more.  In my life, the first half has been spent living as far from Christ as I could.  So in the often used analogy, “the game of life,” I had been losing miserably, failing at every attempt and plan.  I’d been losing the Super Bowl because I’d been running the wrong plays.

Finally, the Lord called me in to correct my life.  It is as though these past 13 months or three years have been half-time.  The Lord has been training me and scolding, and giving me the pep-talk of an eternity.  It is now, I hope, that the Lord is sending back out for the second-half.  After my big red stop sign, I am confident He still says, keep praying for her till He gives her and the others I’m praying for the eternal assuredness or rest in redemption that he has given me.

So, tomorrow 8/13 is Starving Second Saturday.  Keep praying and again thanks for your faithfulness.

Homecoming!!!

Good Morning!  I am sorry for not getting this reminder out sooner, but this week has been a whirlwind of activity.  To say the very least, this week the cup bearer remembered me.

Back in October, I had written on a notecard a bible verse that seemed to be coming my way several times at the end of September.  It was 1 Peter 5:10, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”  I had taped that notecard to my dash and would try to say it out loud when I would feel discouraged.  It stayed there until about a month ago, when my dog knocked my coffee over on it and I threw it away.  I had kept it as a promise from God.

Sometimes in my prayer time, I would ask, “Lord, how long is a little while?”  Thursday, his answer came.  Twelve months, almost exactly to the day I had to place my things into storage and live on the road, he has kept his promise.  I was called by my EVP to a meeting to talk about my future here.  What he offered me was shocking.  Unbelievable! 

They gave me my former position with guaranteed income and safeguards I never imagined possible.  But that was just the start… after I return from San Francisco in just about 2 weeks, I will be home.  And it gets better still!  I asked him why they would place so much confidence in me, knowing that most companies would distance themselves from an employee with so much volatility in their personal lives.  He replied, “we have been watching you go through all of this for the last couple of years and we are amazed that somehow you have managed to keep going and not given up.  You’ve kept your faith in your Christianity and we need that kind of persistence in here.”  That is God at work!  I know that it is certainly not me, but I thank God for showing me a part of his purpose. 

But it’s better still!

As I was preparing to enter the meeting, I received a text about a church in Craig, MO that was in need of help in moving its things and the pastor’s things from the parsonage due to the impending flood of the Missouri River.  I had asked for permission to take a day off because I knew some of the people affected and thought I could at least help.  Instead of just permission, they donated the use of a tractor-trailer to help!  I was and still am overwhelmed! 

When I arrived in Craig with the trailer, I was met by a pastor there who said, he didn’t know what he was going to do.  They were hoping to get a small rental truck and make a few trips but they assumed they would have to abandon most of their own belongings and some at the church.  He kept saying, “this is just an answer to prayer.”  Then about an hour after I arrived a team of volunteers from all over the state showed up, maybe 20 in all.  With their help, we not only moved the pastor and the church’s items, we also were able to move an elderly women with no means of her own, and we also moved a neighboring church!  WOW!  Praise God!  What an awesome, awesome 2 days! 

In a decisive move, He has restored me, He has strengthened me, made me firm and steadfast.  I am reminded of a speech that Winston Churchill gave to a school he visited during WWII. On October 29, 1941, U.K. Prime Minister Winston Churchill visited Harrow School to hear the traditional songs he had sung there as a youth, as well as to speak to the students. When he was invited to give a speech, Churchill stood before the students and said:

But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period—I am addressing myself to the school—surely from this period of ten months this is the lesson: Never give in.  Never give in.  Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.  Never yield to force.  Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

The Lord has commanded me to pray for my loved ones and to never give in until He declares victory.  I hope you are encouraged and able to join me today in prayer and thanksgiving and praise to the King. 

If I would listen, I could hear his voice

Good afternoon!  So it is that time again, tomorrow is Starving Second Saturday May 14, 2011.  I feel guilty as I have not posted some of the amazing things I have seen in the last month as they have been occurring all around me.  This posting if I did it correctly, would be pages long, but …. I want you to read it so I will highlight.

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend a church in Albuquerque with a friend.  I was amazed at the fact that there were so many people at the services in the AM that they had to open an outside amphitheater and it was filled.  As it turned out, Rebecca St. James was there that morning to lead the praise and worship, so I asked my friend if the church was that crowded because of that.  No—its always that crowded.    At the end of the service 15 people came forward to receive Christ!  That is awesome!  I think there is a growing hunger for the truth.  I think the pot is just beginning to boil.

I have been reflecting on the past year and the things I have been privileged to see and do.  I have been able to see friends and family that I have, in many cases, not seen for years.  I have been able to share my testimony and share in theirs.  I often felt guilty for not sharing the message of the cross with those I knew in the past, but God has shown me that he works in their lives anyway.  It has been sort of a release of guilt for me.  Thank You Lord.

I have also seen that the Lord is working in the lives of friends at home.  A friend from Church called me one day and was telling me how the Lord has opened his eyes and ignited his heart with a passion for Christ!  Wow—a direct answer to prayer.  Lord help us burn hotter and hotter and spread a contagious fire!

School has recently been in session for me.   As many of you know, I had applied to Samaritan’s Purse and was being considered for the position of Japan Program Manager in Japan.  When I was asked to provide additional information and offer a testament to my personal relationship with Christ, I just knew I had to be a shoe-in for the job.  I met every qualification.  I have the language training.  At the exact same time I was told I was being considered, my company had scheduled me to go to North Carolina.  This seemed like all at once God would answer nearly every prayer I have breathed in the last year and fulfill a dream I had way back when… but so far they have decided to keep looking.

I knew that it would be a long-shot as I consider the talent pool they must draw from, but… if God ordains it, it must be so.  So I was perplexed and a bit disappointed when I received the news.  I had been thinking all week, “ I will either know exactly how Joseph felt when Pharaoh called him out of prison, or how he felt when the cup bearer was freed and forgot him.”    As you can imagine I have been asking God that why question again. 

Yesterday, I finally seemed to get it.  God has been speaking, but I wasn’t listening.   I had submitted the final bit of information to Samaritans Purse on Friday am the 6^th and was expecting to wait for a few days to hear back.  In the mean-time as we were praying, the Lord began to speak.  On May 8^th I received in my morning devotional a poem based upon scriptures;  part of it here begins a theme…

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make your paths straight. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by your behavior, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

On Tuesday, I received from a good friend the following devotional….

Consulting First With God

BIBLE MEDITATION:

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:

If Jesus Christ is Lord of your life, you are going to give Him the first consideration in every decision you make. You will ask, “What is the will of God? What is the purpose of Jesus? What will glorify my Father?”

Have you ever worked for a company and they decided to transfer you? So many people, because of their financial obligations, discuss it a little with family and friends, then make plans for the move. Sometimes the transfer happens so quickly, prayer has sometimes been forgotten.

ACTION POINT:

Friend, if God wants you to go, then go. If God doesn’t want you to go, then you need to stay. But you’ll never know until you get alone with God and let Him tell you what He wants.

And on Wednesday I received this for a morning inspirational devotional:

Trust The Lord - He Knows Your Future!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.  Proverbs 3:5-7

Will you trust your Lord every day for your entire life, marriage and future? Are you trusting your Lord to provide for your emotional, spiritual and physical needs while your spouse is gone or you are having marriage problems?

O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.  Psalm 84:12

The Lord wants you to trust Him completely! Regardless if your spouse is home threatening to leave, or living in sin or you are divorced. Trust the Lord daily and thank Him that He is speaking to your husband or wife. While you wait, ask the Lord to direct your every footstep. Your Lord is wanting your husband or wife to turn from their sinful habits and lifestyle in which they were seduced, deceived and tempted by the enemy.

So I had received an answer from the Lord before I had even heard back from Samaritan’s Purse, and again afterword as I kept asking “why did you do that to me?”   I had ignored it because I have read those passages so many times I knew what they said.  My problem—I wasn’t listening. 

 So, He says again to “trust him, no matter what.”

Keeping track of what God is doing.

These last two or three months seem to have flown by…. Though we just changed the calendar, tomorrow is Starving Second Saturday.  I pray that you will be able to take some time in earnest prayer for someone that the Holy Spirit has laid upon your heart.

I have been complaining that it seems like nothing has been happening lately.  I am ashamed to admit that I often find myself accusing God of either not caring or just abandoning me here.  Even as I was preparing to write this, I was sitting with a completely blank mind.  Since Monday, I have been asking for some help.  “But Lord… nothing’s happening… what am I to say?”

As I have searched my memory for some clues from the last month a common thread developed for me.  Early last month a good friend has been sharing with me how God has moved in his life to provide some clear direction in his career.  I remembered saying to him… wow you should journal that!  Then I was reading some testimonies from people who had gone through some difficult circumstances and were led through it.  Nearly all of them said that writing in a journal was significant in helping them discern the hand of the Lord in their lives.

So as the thread appeared so did my complaint… but nothing is happening!  What am I supposed to write?  “Today was gloomy, cold, wet… Today was gloomy, cold, wet…. Today was gloo….”  But as I was complaining He brought back to mind some things I had failed to take note of.  In particular, I used to pray often Psalm 128 inserting personal pronouns and names in the scripture as I prayed it.  I had not prayed that Psalm for a very long time, but for some reason a few weeks ago, I started to pray that again.  I hadn’t realized or failed to note rather, that only a few days later that same Psalm was sent to me in an email devotional with testimonies from people about God’s work in their families. 

As I finished writing this, that song from Chris Tomlin(?) “How Great is Our God” is playing and in my heart I can’t help but agree.

The Black Hole---where did everybody go?

This past month, I have been chasing several jobs that have come across my radar and all seem require a person with my particular experience.  I have even decided to aim a little higher to see what may be.  So far… like the baby in the viral You-tube video… rejection.   So I am still waiting for God’s timing and direction.

Last week, I stumbled across an email I printed and stuffed in my old bible that a good friend of mine sent to me on October 2, 2009.  That would be D – day plus 1 for me.  It was a great lift to me then and as it turns out… maybe a prophetic note.  I thought I would share it here as I keep asking the why question and following up with a when question.  The message encourages me to do my best to draw as close to Christ as I can with my limited knowledge of how to do that.  I hope I am not guilty of any copyright laws by posting it… so to be safe I will include a link to the author’s ministry site.  He has an amazing testimony  http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/os/testimony .

Deliverance from the Black Hole:
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman09-30-2008

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).

A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It's a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure - our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. It is a preparation time.

When you find yourself in a black hole experience, don't just sit and brood. Take stock of your life. Take a look at your relationship with God.

First, ask God if there are any sins, habits, or attitudes that He might be judging in your life. It's important to discern whether the trial we face is the result of God's discipline for our sin?or if it is preparing us for a future leadership role.

Second, when you enter a black hole, don't trust your feelings. Trust God. Your feelings will tell you, "God has rejected you. Abandon hope. He has left you utterly alone." Feelings change; God never changes. Feelings come and go; God is always with us.

Third, remember that your black hole experience is not only intended to refine and define you; it's also intended to influence and change the lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people. Our adversity is not just for us, but others in our sphere of influence.

Fourth, don't try to hurry the black hole process along. Remember, when Joseph was in the depths of the pit, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't climb out, jump out, levitate out, or talk his way out. All he could do was pray and wait upon the Lord.

Fifth, lean on God. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Even when you don't feel like reading His Word, read. Even when you don't feel like singing songs of faith, sing. When you pray, don't just talk; listen. Be silent before Him and listen for His still, quiet voice.

Sixth, be alert to new truths and new perspectives. During a black hole experience, God often leads us to amazing new discoveries. A black hole can be a storehouse of unexpected riches for the soul.

Thanks again for praying with me.  This Saturday March 12th is Starving Second Saturday. 

Wow God!

Lately, I have been hearing on K-Love, people telling their stories of “Wow God” moments.  I had one of those this morning.

I received a benign email asking about dental insurance and income taxes from S.  I was responding to it when the passage of scripture from Ephesians 3:17-19 came to mind, where Paul says “And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

I began to pray that scripture over her and asking that Jesus would show her that love.

The wow moment was only an hour later.  I was able to go to Bethany First Church by SNU this morning.  The message was from that scripture.  Wow God!

Also, I was able to see the Grace Card last night.  Great movie.  I hope every can go see it and share it with someone.

Praise God a man's family has returned!

I was preparing to leave yesterday from Kansas City, but was frustrated to have to wait for some mechanical issues to be fixed.  While I was waiting I ran into a co-worker whom I hadn't seen for about 2 months.

When I last saw him, he was telling me how he and his wife divorced almost 12 years ago.  Since that time he has had little contact with his wife or 3 daughters.   He had said it was nearly 5 years since he had spoken to any of them.  His daughters are now in their mid 20's and the youngest is 18.  I left him letting him know about our prayer group and that I would be praying for him.  I was pleading in my heart for the Lord to rescue me from that outcome. 

When I saw him yesterday he came up to me with a huge grin and said "you'll never guess what happened!"

He said last Wednesday, he was having a miserable day and at the end of the day, his oldest daughter telephoned him out of the blue to say she was sorry for things and wanted to get together and let him meet his grandchildren.  The next day his middle daughter called and asked him if they could have lunch sometime.  She told him how horrible she has felt because she and her sisters wouldn't ever return his calls.  She said that his youngest daughter was still a little immature, but she felt that she would come around.

He said he feels like he has a whole new life... all of a sudden.  I had to tell him that to me, that is an answer to prayer.  I am keeping this man in my prayers as he is not a believer, but I think his heart may definitely be opening.

I am overwhelmed this morning.

A praise from the Desert

I wanted to take a minute to pass along a note on a wonderful event.  I have been in Las Vegas for a few days and had the opportunity to visit Las Vegas 1^st Church.  The Sunday morning service was an interactive concert of the youth from the Arizona and Nevada district.  I believe the program or choir was called Impact.  They lived up to their name.

Their program was a great mix of music and testimonies.  At the end of the service a young woman led a prayer and an invitational.  There were several who came forward and met with Jesus at the altar.  The kids in the group responded by kneeling themselves to pray with the people who came forward.  People seemed to come forward in waves. I was astonished at the responsiveness of the kids who came out off of the stage to pray as intercessors and supporters.

To say the least it was a very moving scene and I was reminded of the verses in Joel 2: 28-32 “And afterword, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.  Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.  Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days.  I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and billows of smoke.   The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.  And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved;…”

I was fortunate to visit with the pastor and some of the others from the church this morning.  They were able to confirm that indeed a prodigal had returned.  What a delight to see God at work.

Praise God!

School is in session

This Saturday the 12^th is Starving 2^nd Saturday!   I am again thankful for those of you who have agreed to agree with me in prayer for our prodigal loved ones.  I believe Jesus when he said in Mathew 18:19 “Again I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”  I know that we must be in agreement praying for the will of God to be done.  As an interesting note about asking of God for something, my study bible pointed out something about the Greek used in this verse.  In saying “anything you ask for” Jesus used the word:

 “aiteō which is the seeking by an inferior of a superior.  In respect to God, to supplicate, beg, ask for something, or petition God.  …  It may be significant that this verb is never used to characterize Jesus’ requests of the Father.  Rather , the word erōtaō  to inquire, seek, ask a question, interrogate, is always used.  According to some scholars the difference between aiteō  and erōtaō  is that the former involves the requests of subordinates, whereas the latter implies more often equality between the persons involved.“ (Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible NIV 1996 AMG Publishers, Chattanooga, TN) 

So I humbly beg that our prayers to the Lord will be in agreement with his will.   

This last week or so, as I have been praying and preparing to write this blog entry I have been thinking often of Jacob and the night he wrestled God.  The story in Genesis 32:22-32 has Jacob alone on a river bank and mysteriously wrestling with a “man” all night who turns out to be God.  Jacob is so stubborn that God injured his hip—and still Jacob refused to let go till God blessed him.  To be honest, I have been thinking about that sometimes thinking to myself “well, come on down here Big Guy, I’m ready.  I’ll wrestle with you.  If I can make it all night, do I get the prize?”  And honestly, I can’t figure out why that passage has been on my mind for the last couple of weeks.  So I decided to try to study it as best I could.

From the same reference bible as above there is a notation about how this battle could be a spiritual turning point.  (Forgive my shameless plagiarism here but I think I can put together my own coherent thought from this….)

The events of the night represent a climactic point in Jacob’s spiritual growth.  He proved that he could persevere and overcome without cheating.  He saw that his own strength was futile and he humbly sought help from God.  From the events at Bethel (Ge 28:10-22) to this point, Jacob had undergone tremendous spiritual growth.  He was a different man than the one who had supplanted his brother through deceit.  Therefore God gave him the new name Israel, which means “he struggles with God.”

I also took a little time to retrain my thinking about the blessing from God.  I think I’ve equated monetary gain, stature, and appearance too often with being “blessed.”  In truth those may be things that could come as a result of being blessed, but the blessing and the real prize would be to have God speak praise of me.  Just like my dad would when he would say “Good job son, I’m proud of you” but coming from God--magnified to infinity.

At the same time I have been thinking over this passage, experientially, God has been moving people into my path at some critical times.  I think I’ve had a couple of divine appointments.

On January 29^th after a few fitful days of no sleep, and begging God for an answer to what am I doing out here?  He sent someone to me, out of the blue.  A lady working the service counter at a truck stop just started telling me her story.  I sent part of that day’s happening in an email to one of our group members:

“I had the great privilege of meeting a Godly woman who told me about some of her testimony.  She mentioned that she had gotten away from the Lord and that just as it says in scripture, God chastens those he loves.  We talked about different things that the Lord will teach us in the wake of our trials and one thing we both agreed was to wait upon the Lord.  I was reminded of a sermon where pastor Pickens had said that he thinks "sometimes one of God's favorite tools with us is to make us wait upon Him."  For me this conversation with her was a bit of an answer to my prayer of why am I out here away from my family and friends and home?  If I was still back in Olathe, would I be waiting upon Him?

My past life may be part of that answer.  It is very likely that I would be out pursuing someone else to fill the void left by S---.  Perhaps (time will tell) God is using this isolation to help me do just what he told me to do when I first called out to Him.  Wait upon the Lord.”

Then again today, another specific encounter just occurred.  I have been trying to deal with some frustration at constantly running in to so many homeless people.  I seem to be a magnet for their attention lately.  I could be sitting in a crowded McDonald’s and minding my own business as I carefully learned to do in New York, and someone will just walk up to me and only me, and ask me for money.  I often cheerfully do give it, but I admit, sometimes I get angry.  Not at them; at God.  I have been guilty of saying in my head at times like that, “God, you took EVERYTHING I have already and now you want MORE?!!”  Every time I do that, the Holy Spirit convicts me, gives me a few days, and then re-enrolls me in the class.  Today,  I rode my bike to a little restaurant like a Chipotle here in southern California. 

Class was apparently in session.  I didn’t see her till I was already inside.  She looked something like a white lady version of George Clinton (click here to see a picture) .  I’m not kidding.  I was so careful to be inconspicuous.  I ordered, sat down across the room and near other people.  I could feel that tug saying… you need to do something.  I silently and quickly gave thanks for my food, still being careful to not make eye contact or even glance.  I shot a quick prayer “Lord, if I’m supposed to do something, please send her over here, ‘cause I don’t want to start something.”  I took a quick bite… with the food still in my mouth she was at my table.  “Can you believe those kids want me to sell drugs or just move out the neighborhood,” she asked me?

That led to an hour long visit with a stranger, who as it turned out, ministered to me.  She just wanted to share her testimony and listen to mine.  She left me with a tremendous blessing saying “God is in the restoration business you know?”

Wow, so I think I have been wrestling with God.  Over my circumstances, over my will, over my willingness and slowly, appointment by appointment, and match by match, I believe He is helping me to grow.  He is also helping me to persevere, to not give up, to keep praying, keep fighting, keep hoping.

Lord, will you turn my heart, and her heart from hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.  May we be convicted of our sin, and repent.  May the hearts of all of our prodigal loved ones be turned to hearts of flesh and lead them to you—Amen.

Thank you all for joining me again.  Also, please send me updates as you hear about someone getting saved or a prodigal coming home somewhere.   I hear from time to time great things like the guy in Ohio who was homeless and then after he turned his life over to Christ he got that radio job.  Wow!  What a prodigal story!  Post them at the site if you want at

http://starvingsecondsaturday.blogspot.com/

Also, there are 13 of us on the list now, so please feel free to invite others to join us if you see fit.  And one other thing… I may send another praise report.  The movie coming out from Calvary Church of the Nazarene in Memphis called The Grace Card ( www.thegracecardmovie.com  ) is coming out Feb 24 or 25^th.  I hope lots of people go to see it! 

When to give up praying

Yesterday was a difficult day with a milestone being crossed in my prodigal's life that I really wanted to be a part of. 

I spent time yesterday in prayer (not as much as should have), and had the prayer bouncing off the wall feeling all day.  I felt defeated and was asking for permission to just give up and move on with my life.  I ended my final moment in prayer last night saying "Please just tell me if I am supposed to continue praying for her..."  Then I went to sleep.

This morning, I was a bit excited to go visit a fast growing church here in the St. Louis area.  I really like the sounds of lots of people singing (like at home), so I expected to be moved.  I wasn't.  Perhaps I am needing to be more open minded, but it felt more like an Amway convention to me than church.  The message was one of those your not sewing a big enough seed and your thinking with being in God's favor is not big enough.... yeah right.   I can dream really big, I just don't think God owes me anything, I feel its the other way.   Anyway I had attended the early service and left asking "What was that?"

I was tempted to just do my paperwork and leave town but decided to go to the Church of the Nazarene in Fenton.   I am glad I did!!!

When the pastor spoke today, his message was from Joshua 1.  The pastor asked us to think about those people who were instrumental in our lives in leading us to Jesus and helping us grow in Christ.  Then he posed the question, "what if those people never entered your life or just gave up on you and quit praying for you?"

My ears were perked up now...  then he re-read verses 14b - 15a  (NIV) " You are to help your brothers UNTIL THE LORD GIVES THEM REST, AS HE HAS DONE FOR YOU, AND UNTIL THEY TOO HAVE TAKEN POSSESSION OF THE LAND that the Lord your God is giving them.  AFTER that, you may go back and occupy your own land, ..."

So, keep praying the Lord says to me, until the prodigal has the rest in assurred salvation.  Isn't God AMAZING!?

Be still and know that I am God

It is hard to believe, but the 2^nd Saturday of the month is upon us.  This Saturday, January 8^th is Starving Second Saturday. 

It has been my intention to share the wonderful times when God would send me a specific scripture in the same order that I received them.  For this week that would have been from Acts 16:28 (really 16: 16-34) and from Joel 2:28 – 3:3.  These were given to me on the same day during a very, very low point on December 27^th 2009.  However, as I was praying this week about what to say and write, the passage from Psalm 46:10 was brought to my mind on Monday night.  This seemed to be confirmed to me last night in an email I received about a person who is also standing in the gap for her broken marriage which she talks about how early in her separation the Lord gave her the same scripture. 

For me, that scripture was given to me on April 22, 2010.  That day, was for the most part uneventful.  I was invited to share a testimony to a Sunday school class at College Church on the upcoming Sunday.  I was anxious and spending lots of time praying about what to say.  I would often find my way over to the prayer room at College Church over lunch, since my office was nearby. 

The Lord had placed in my life at just the right time a year earlier some friends who felt called to pray there every Thursday night.  They had invited me to join them there in February 2009, and I was there with them over that last year.  In the prayer room is a Styrofoam wall constructed to resemble the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  It is covered with rolled up post it notes and written prayer requests, and notes of praise.  I had often spent lots of time reading some of them and writing and posting my own there.  There are some pictures and artwork hanging on the other walls there as well.  On one wall is a plaque with the inscribed words “Be still and know that I am God.”

I had seen that plaque nearly a hundred times before, and as I recall, it doesn’t have the scripture reference attached to it.  That afternoon in the prayer room, my eyes were drawn to it.  The words seemed to stick in my mind.  The words began to play in my head from the hymn.  Later that afternoon, I would discover why that came to me.

Sometime later that day, I discovered that I was being sued for the fourth time in the last 2 years.  I was preparing to stand up to testify about what my relationship with the Lord had meant to me, and now I was receiving yet another test.  My house was nearly out of food.  I was 2 months behind on rent and utilities.  I had just received an invoice from my divorce attorney for $3000.00 and invoices from the hospital for $7000.00.  At work, I was still $7000.00 behind in my draw.  Since the end of December, my net pay check every two weeks was $74.94.  I was the deer in the headlights of a fast-moving truck, and it was closer than ever before.

But that song… it kept playing in my head.  I would try to shake it loose, but would wake up each day for the next several days with it playing in my head.  So I finally Googled the words and found the scripture.  I wrote them on a post-it and placed it on my pc at work. 

I couldn’t see it then, but looking back, I can see that God was at work already.  A couple of weeks before, one of our salesmen had left to pursue another opportunity.  Since my accounts had seemed to dissolve overnight, my boss offered me his position.  That position would allow me to take advantage of the sharp uptick in residential business that happens every spring.  At the same time to help with my staggering draw deficit, my boss offered to give me a split on commissions with half going to the deficit, and they would give me the other half plus a small salary.  At the end of April, I received a paycheck of $210.00!  It was such an enormous blessing!  I had enough to buy some food, gas, and pay a little of the utilities.  It wasn’t everything I wanted, but it was enough to meet my daily needs to live.  It was manna.

The Lord opened that door just wide enough so that by the end of May, my draw deficit was completely erased.  I did not know it at the time, but He would close that door on June 1^st and ask me to trust Him yet again.

I wish I could say that I was perfect in my trials and trusted God completely.  I must confess, I complained often.  On difficult days especially, I still find myself wondering, “Why?”  But the image of that plaque will come into my mind and when I am willing to let Him, the Lord will give me peace saying “Be still and know that I am God.”

Please join me this Saturday and remember our prodigals in prayer and fasting.